I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
