we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
