The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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