There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
