I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize