They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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