Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
