dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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