she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
