Swine flu is the new snow day.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
