Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We need a shit load of segways right now
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
