I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I think a kid would responsible me up
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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