Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
