i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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