I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
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I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
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Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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