why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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