So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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