How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize