Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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