You can't motorboat a personality
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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