I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
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how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
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