she was so not down for the gang bang
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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