i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
