i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We got so high we made milksteak
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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