hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
