I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
