last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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