Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
