never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
