Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
