There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
