Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
They took my balls.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
