i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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