Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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