The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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