3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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