Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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