He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
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no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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