I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
