i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
