Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My penis needs a shock collar
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
