The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
