turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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