Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
