So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
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Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
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tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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