He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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