Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
