I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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