Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
