nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
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there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
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Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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