Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
