Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(433): View more from

There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables

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(870): View more from Arkansas

you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.

Fav 29 8742 1195
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(651): View more from Minnesota

This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.

(507): View more from Minnesota

Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.

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(647): View more from Ontario

That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.

Fav 2 1355 716
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(970): View more from Colorado

They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(

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(612): View more from Minnesota

her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode

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(303): View more from Colorado

Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.

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(812): View more from Indiana

A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?

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(310): View more from California

Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym

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