Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
