I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
