Umm I'm too high to move.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
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I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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