My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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