i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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