if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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