The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
