Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
