You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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