her vagine was all disorganized.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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