Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
