I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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