she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize