dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize